Yesterday during the day I filled my day with work-related stuff, in an effort to not think ahead to the game in the evening, which worked to an extent. Then when I got home, I obviously started to think about the match, but with every Arsenal WhatsApp group I was in my response was the same:

My expectations are low. So I’m kind of fine with whatever happens tonight.

Of course that was me just telling myself this. A kind of self-defence mechanism against disappointment. Preparing oneself mentally for the fact we are historically terrible in Europe given a club of our size. So I sat down, slunk into my chair in my lounge, expecting the worst given that first 20 minutes at home last week. So I prepared myself for resignation from the off.

Instead, what we got was a fired up Arsenal team, ready to make a statement, flipping the script of last week and utterly dominating PSG for that first 15 – 20 minutes. Rice headed wide, Donnarumma made a fantastic save, followed by an absolutely brilliant save from Odegaard and within six or seven minutes we should have been ahead. And do you know what that did to me? That ignited a hope that was mere embers before kick off. Suddenly I thought “we’re better than them, we have them on the ropes, we could do this. We just need to take our chance”

And that boys and girls, is the story of both of these legs. Because if you’re on social media, you will already have seen that the xG of the chances that PSG scored from was next to nothing. That’s because they took their chances, whereas we could not.

We carved PSG apart at times, we put good balls in to the box, Saka had a couple in that first half that there was just nobody gambling and you can’t help think that had we a predatory striker in our team, there will have been one or two tap in opportunities.

It is, sadly, the story of our season and the lack of action by the club last summer and this January once again become a talking point. Which is a shame because the players out there last night gave everything. They went at PSG and caused them plenty of problems. They were utterly dominant in the first 25 minutes, save a shot off the post from PSG’s only attack until their goal. And that goal itself, which took a deflection, was completely against the run of play. But we’ve been saying that all season. You and I could between us probably pull out a dozen matches in which we’ve been the better team, we’ve created chances, we’ve not been able to finish, then the opposition have scored with one of their first efforts.

In many ways, last night was just another microcosm of this cursed season.

And, frankly, I’m done with it. End it all now. These last three games we have remaining – chuck them all in the bin. This season which had some much hope, was finally extinguished last night and whereas at times I’ve wondered if there would be some European karma for what we’ve had to endure domestically, it was not to be and instead I will be looking back on this season with great lament.

That’s because we’re a good team. We’re going to get hit by the weaponisation of ‘football banter’ now in this country for a while and we just have to try to ignore it, but we also need to recognise that mistakes have been made and we are falling short for the third season in a row. Something has to change. That’s not the manager, that’s not the coaching staff, but there does need to be some work done in the front end of the pitch. It is now an absolute imperative and that’s what I’m now looking forward to. This remaining three games of the season can be chucked in the bin for all I care; all eyes are on the club and Andrea Berta to make sure we are in a better position to go for it next season.

I don’t really feel like going into the specifics of the game. I can’t be arsed to talk about the ludicrous decision to give a penalty against Myles-Lewis Skelly, who I thought had a torrid time, if truth be told. I don’t want to talk about how Odegaard faded after a bright start, although his running was consistent but he held on to the ball a little too long at times. I thought we faded in the second half too after such a bright start and when the second goal went in from them, if I’m honest I just turned the TV off. The game was done at that point.

We have Liverpool in a few days time but I can’t be arsed with that. I might check in on here over the next few days if I feel like it, but right now the exhausting nature of everything related to football and Arsenal is just leading me to think that I just cannot be arsed. There will some that will think me privileged as an Arsenal fan, that we are privileged, which perhaps they are right. But when you come so close on so many occasions but only to fall short, it chips away at you. We did a solid 10 year’s of ‘meh’ before Arteta started to turn us into a competitive team again. That apathy led to little feeling and I would absolutely rather be in the position we are now than back then. But what it does mean is that at times like this it hits you harder and therefore you feel like you need to take a step back. So that’s where I’m at this morning.

Roll on the summer.