We’re now at Day 972 (or what feels like) of the Petr Cech t Arsenal and I must say Sky Sports have played this out to the best of their ability. Maybe they’re right, maybe their wrong, but their sources have run through the entire gambit of different stages of a transfer. Each time a new bit of information is added and as a result a new day brings about yet more transfer salivating fans like you and I who are really quite bored with the whole ‘no football in summer’ thing.
I tell you, It’s that desperate that I’d welcome a European Championships or World Cup. I have avoid the Copa America though – it’s on too late for my liking.
Anyway, Sky Sports and their ‘Transfer dragging storytelling 101’ have truly played it remarkably, with us now into the final stages of the saga:
- Club express interest
- Player and people close express interest in transfer
- Clubs discuss possibility of transfer to work out if it can happen
- Player agrees terms
- Club agrees fees
- Player signed
Then as an Arsenal fan, you’ll be aware of the next two stages:
- Photographs taken of player
- Wee bit of teasing from the club before official announcement on the Arsenal website
So we’ve still got a smidge of time to go through before we get the confirmation. It’s all very frustrating and whilst I am guilty of eeking this out because of the lack of other news available and on my doorstep that I can blog about, I like to be on the cynical “yeah, but all of the football websites are doing it for clicks” side of the fence, because I make the square root of naff all on this website. So In my strange and illogical mind, that makes my hands a little bit cleaner when it comes to getting you to read my waffle.
Anyway, I have been thinking about avoiding any more talk of the Cech transfer until it happens. Might mean my thoughts start to veer into the non-footballing world, so prepare yourself for it, that’s all I’m saying.
Oh, wait, no, I’ve just come across a signing! Under 16 Romanian Captain Vlad Dragonmir! What a name. Please let the guy turn out to be brilliant. Imagine having a name like that in your line up. It sounds like something from Thor and would strike terror into opponents. I wonder if Vlad carries a spear and a shield on to the pitch before battle. I wonder if he dreams of a glorious death and ride on the Valkyries into Asgaard?
One things for sure, with a name like that, he’s going to get a heck of a lot of stick so let’s hope he lives up to the billing of his name. And when I say ‘lives up to’, I mean that I don’t want to see him coming on as a sub unless he has a huge helmet with wings on and is carried on to the field by a chariot, before slaying the opposition and declaring the Emirates Stadium as Vlad Country. Vince McMahon will appear to add a bit of drama at halftime, but he’ll receive a chair to the back of the head by the Undertaker, who will then call Vlad out for a ‘winner takes all’ cage match to determine the future of the Premier League trophy in a fight to the death. Or at least until somebody taps out.
On the bench, an astounded Petr Cech watches on, having second thoughts about whether he should sign for Arsenal, having spent the previous four years ‘locked in negotiations.
Sky have the whole story covered in a series of articles on their website dating back years.
Krystian Bielik wonders what he could have become, had he had a name with which fantastical stories can be written about for him.