Greetings from a very warm Germany, Berlin, to be precise. the Management and I are doing a cheeky weekend in Deutschland so I can brush up on me German and take in some of the sights of a City that we’ve never been to before. It’s what you get when you are able to be off at the weekend, which is something that Theo Walcott will now know all too much about…

(Liking the segue, right? 😉 )

That’s because yesterday he formally announced his retirement from football at the tender age of 34. He spent last season at Southampton, where he still racked up 24 appearances in all competitions and during that time scored against two London clubs – Tottenham (haha) and us (boo). All in all he made 564 meaningful appearances (I’m not counting Premier League 2 or friendlies, for example), scored 129 goals, which averages a goal every four-odd games across his career.

That’s not a bad tally for a guy who’s career kind of petered out after his Arsenal days, where I think we got the best years of him. For us he had 397 and 108 goals which is a little of three-and-a-half games per goal and playing as a wide forward that’s a decent enough return.

He seemed like a genuinely nice bloke, played in some important games for us and at times was both frustrating, but also brilliant. Those goals against Newcastle where he was fouled inside the box but still managed to get up and flick the ball beyond, I think it was Krul, as well as a cup final goal against Villa and that one where he notched a goal against Chelsea whilst falling over halfway through his run all spring to mind immediately.

Ultimately though, I don’t think he ever hit the heights that some expected when we paid decent money for him as a 16-year-old from Southampton. But that’s ok. He was still a decent servant and I don’t think there are many Arsenal fans who don’t look at him with fondness.

Which is more (another epic segue coming…) than I can say for the green kit Arsenal launched yesterday. I get it, they’re tapping in to the nostalgia of the old 80s green and blue away one we had in the JVC days, but there’s just something about it that I can’t really get behind. I don’t know why. And it pretty much completes the set of shirts I probably won’t buy this season. Not that it matters; Arsenal had all my money last season with all three kits, so it probably is better for my bank balance that I don’t part with the kings ransom these football clubs want with replica kits this season.

What I will say, however, is that I do like the little ‘AFC’ monogram on the collar. That’s a nice touch.

Anyway, back to more important things, like stuff on the actual pitch, and it seems we’re finally making some exit moves. Alex Runnarrson made his loan exit to Cardiff yesterday and whilst I’m sure Arsenal are happy to get the wages off the books, it is a little weird that we can’t just flog him to another club for a permanent fee. Perhaps his wages are too high for a club to take a four year punt on a guy who never convinced at the top flight, but I do find it odd. I guess given that Arsenal only paid £1million for his services, the club will just be happy to keep loaning him out until his contract expires, so as long as he isn’t costing us any more they’re just happy to keep up this arrangement.

There hasn’t been any other movement out of the club as yet, although I have spied the amusing rumour that the Scum have enquired about Balogun. I say amusing because can you imagine what the vibe would be if we went to Daniel Levy and asked about one of his players? They don’t even want to sell players to English clubs, so selling to us would be an instant non-starter, so why should we even pick up the phone?

In fact, I hope that’s what we said to Levy if he did pick up the phone:

“Daniel, what would be your response if we called you about one of your players, heh?

Exactly. So stop embarrassing yourself and put the phone down”

Spurs in for Balogun…honestly…

The only way that’d be something I’d hope we’d consider is if we sold for £50million with a £35million buy back that can be activated at any point in any transfer window in perpetuity. Oh, and I’d want a clause in there saying he can never play against Arsenal. And if we don’t want him on the buy back, we get 75% of any future sale. And they have to play in front of no fans for every future North London Derby at the Toilet Bowl. And they have to publicly admit that North London is red by placing a permanent advertising hoarding inside their ground.

Then let’s talk a deal.

The other rumour on Balogun I’ve seen is to Chelsea. Even though that club is almost as scummy as the actual Scum, there’s precedent here; both clubs have exchanged players for some time now, although even if the idea of Balogun to Chelsea is a possibility, I would hope that Arsenal would be wanting to over-inflate his price to get a deal done. Apparently £40million gets it done but I’d be wary of that; Balogun could bang and unless there is a buy back in there, I’d be hoping that if Chelsea come calling we’d be forcing them to hit £50million.

It’s just a bloody shame Monaco or Inter aren’t fighting hard for him. It would be much more palatable to see him sail off to foreign climes and then maybe one day make a return to us. But c’est La vie as they say in old French France.

That’s my Saturday round up done I think. Time to mosey on down to the hotel restaurant and see what cooked meats I can rustle up.

Have yourselves a good one folks.